Gemstone...Listen to the echoes in my head...Rowdy howls, tainted bloody red...Streaks of tektite in a garnet mine...Drops of water in a lavish wine...Sketch me on your corpse with faded chalk...Sew my lips with yours so I won't talk...Touch me with your soul and I will thaw...Lose me, just don't end it in a draw...
not reallyto fight a priestor kill a beastto kiss and tellor go to hell...fuck...like it matters anymorelike I still want to reach the corelike I really want to carelike I still have things to sharefuck...I'm too old to play this gameI'm tired and it's too lamecut the crap and cut it cleanI won't go back to where I've been...fuck...and good luck...
if only...She looked at herself in the mirror...She liked what she saw...The weight loss suited her...The new clothing style reflected a professional personality...The new shorter than the usual haircut...The shiny nails...The image was perfect...A perfect Trojan horse in which was hidden a little frightened girl...She smiled padded her baby blue dress and mumbled:- If only you can see me now... If only I could stand in front of you and make you understand the importance of this image I created...But no, she knew that no matter how many layers she'd cover herself with, he'd still be able to see the essential core...He'd still be able to see the little girl, hiding in the dark corner, and hoping everyone would just go away so she'd be able to be herself for a while...She had worked hard to put that little weak girl to eternal sleep...She had buried her in the deepest part of her heart...Yet whenever she saw him, whenever he looked right through her eyes and smiled, that little girl
her side...She was sitting on her desk, caressing her Canon EF 50mm lens in her hands, and thinking of him
Its been a while since she last thought of him, what made her remember him now?Was it because of the pictures she had found in an unnamed folder on her old pc?Was it because of the new poem he had posted on his blog and that wasnt addressed to her?Was it because she knew they had a friend in common?But then again, she had deliberately turned on her old pc to find this folder
She had intentionally visited his blog to read his latest poems
And she had purposely led the conversation with that friend to know if he was a common friend or not
She went back to the time they spent together
She remembered their romantic nights and how warm it felt when she slept in his arms
She remembered their mornings and how he used to drink his cup of tea, although he hated it, just because she felt awkward having her tea alone
She remembered how he used t
beDlAMThree sleepless nights have passed already
Three nights haunted by so many shadows from his past
Shadows he tried so hard to cast away
Shadows that forged the gloomy and bitter side of him
He wanted to see the sun, he wanted to be positive, but nothing was helping
Beirut was still under siege for the sixth day
No positive sign was even in sight
Every politician, though trying to sound rational and calm in his speech, was uttering threatening and frightening words that made him sense a more weighing ghost of war on his shoulders
Was he able to handle losing any of them?July 2006 war already cost him a dear friend
The 2007 Islamist war already separated him from his family
What was this war costing him this time?Lebanon?Beirut?Her?What kind of bedlam was he living in?Is he ever destined to be happy?Is he ever destined to live in peace?W
Right now...Lebanon's burning...Lebanon's fading away...Lebanon, what he loved the most in his life...He had left people, jobs, places he loved...He had left them, felt a bit sad, yet was able to get over it...Lebanon was the only thing he tried leaving, time and time again, and was never able to...He always compared himself to a tree...Having its roots deep in Lebanon's soil...The moment he gets uprooted, he'll whither and die...he lies on his bed, a hand behind his head, and another on his chest...he was able to feel his own heartbeats...He still had a beating heart...He discovered that he still had a heart, and it was strongly beating for Lebanon...He couldn't watch TV...He didn't want to...Pure torture...How was he able to see his beloved being burnt and torn to pieces...He just couldn't...while thinking of Lebanon...He couldn't help not think of her...How he loved her...How he saw no one but her in his dreams...How he longed for her...Longed to touch her...Smell her...
once and for all...She opened the window...took a deep breath...inhaled the smoke of her cigarette...puffed it away, watching it fly high in the sky...closed the window again...sat on her desk...opened that mumble jumble red book about commerce codes...tried to read...yet to no avail...she was only thinking about how much his last poem made her feel bad..."I know it's about me...I'm positive...I'm not a narcissist...but the date, the content and all...it's the day after we met...he DID write this about me...although he had promised not to anymore...He will never stop...he'll keep bugging me with his writings...I know it...now I understand what his ex lovers endured...he loved them, and they had to pay the price...they had to be imprisoned in his poems and proses till he found a new lover...I will NOT fall for his tricks...I will NOT even talk to him about it...I am deleting him completely from my life...He's a freak...I want him totally out of my life..."She turns her pc on, a